Joybellion: The Terrible, Thrilling Truth About Midlife
Introducing my first book, Joybellion. An invitation to rise above the noise and claim a life of freedom, magic, and ease.
Back when I decided to run a marathon in my thirties, my very first training session was a jog to my friend’s house about a mile away. I barely made it and felt like I was going to die as I sprawled across his kitchen table hoping to recover.
In the beginning, writing my first book, Joybellion, felt the same. It was more painful and scary than it was exciting. My thoughts were all over the place, and trying to corral them into something coherent took a minute. It was a constant battle with my own mind to get what I wanted to say on the page.
And then there is midlife. Society tries to tell us this time of life is a decline into invisibility, and at first, it feels that way. Much like my first training run, the initial shock of menopause and the awareness of aging in a youth-obsessed culture can be rough. It’s a lot to navigate.
The marathon was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But the thing that might be surprising to learn is it took me a full year to actually process what I’d done. I didn’t feel like a “successful marathoner” the second I crossed the line. I only felt exhausted and over it.
It hit me a year later, when I went back to watch the front runners. Seeing them navigate that same pavement, I suddenly burst into tears. My body finally recognized the consistency, the grit, and the perseverance it took to stay in that race when every muscle was screaming “stop.”
Writing my first book has been a parallel journey. The world tells us that “Launch Day” is the thing. That June 8th is the moment that matters—but as that day approaches, I’m still processing the two plus years I’ve spent birthing this baby. I don’t expect to be finished absorbing the experience just because the book is on a shelf.
It’s the same deal with midlife. As the journey of midlife unfolds, it becomes the greatest opportunity to fully know and honor who we are but it takes a minute.
Joybellion isn’t about a single day or a finish line—it’s a journey exploring that great opportunity. It’s about the long, messy, glorious miles of midlife that every woman lucky enough to age gets to travel.
These journeys are hard. They hurt. They require a level of tenacity that can get lost in the struggle.
But also…
On my training runs, the runner’s high would usually show up around mile seven or eight. I’d suddenly feel like I was flying—I was in the zone.
Once I got my writing routine down, I’d hit my goal of 1,000 words a day and then head off for a walk in the hills. Letting my mind wander to process the day’s writing was my favorite writing ritual.
And now, in midlife, the estrogen dip has left me surer about who I am and more willing to put my foot down in honor of her.
In other words, these monumental adventures are terrible and thrilling.
The “terrible” parts have led to a clarity that is absolutely thrilling. This is what Joybellion is all about and it’s why I wrote this book.
I spent decades in the trenches of the entertainment industry where youth is worshipped and often dictates when a woman becomes “irrelevant.” I saw the game and decided I didn’t want to play it anymore. I wanted to write a new playbook for us—one where our supposed insignificance could become our greatest source of power.
Here we don’t fight the system, we rise above it.
Stepping into our power isn’t always easy when living in a culture that has such narrow views of us as we age. Joybellion is my invitation to break free from their limiting beliefs, so only you define how you see yourself and your place in the world.
I’ve filled the book with “hot flashes of truth” and unconventional tools to help us ditch society’s dusty “shoulds” for good and start building an unbreakable trust in ourselves. This is how we fill our daily lives with more ease and magic.
The book officially comes into the world on June 8th, but that’s just the beginning of this adventure and I hope you’ll join me.
To the joybellion,
Kai 🤸🏽♀️ ✊🏽
✊🏽❤️🔥