Anti-Aging Makes You Old
Here’s what will help you feel young
We need to give a thumbs down to the idea of anti-aging. You know why? Because anti-aging forces you to dislike the one thing you have no control over: getting old.
Capitalist patriarchy wants us to believe that looking and feeling your best is an outside job. Get the cream. Shine the red light. Take the supplements. Yes, it may have morphed into “longevity science” to make it sound better, but at its core, the industry feeds our culture’s deep fear and dislike of aging.
The problem with focusing on what they want you to focus on—spending lots of money to look younger—is that you tarnish your mind’s attitude towards aging. You stop it from helping you feel vibrant and great as the years go by.
This is where reverse aging comes in. Instead of trying to look younger and being anti-age, we reverse our attitude about aging and embrace it.
I know this can be hard when society insists on bombarding us with “aging is bad” messages. But do we really want to head into elderhood hating what’s happening to us? In the Joybellion movement, we choose age liberation.
In my many travels down the internet rabbit hole, I discovered over and over again that the body is built for longevity and self-repair. One of the keys? Our minds have to believe it.
In the 1970s, Ellen Langer, a psychologist at Harvard University, conducted an experiment with a group of 70- and 80-year-olds. She had them complete various cognitive and physical tests, then sent them off on a week-long retreat. The setting thrust them back 20 years in time. The furniture, the food, the music—everything was from “back in the day.” They were told to act as independently as possible. In other words, don’t ask for help; try to do things yourself.
At the end of the week, there were noticeable improvements: sharper vision, more flexible joints, less inflammation. After just one week!
Turns out, revisiting experiences from your younger days and having the independent mindset from that time has a very positive effect on your health and well-being. I would argue the community aspect of it also had an impact.
I came up with a fun idea for ‘brainwashing’ our minds inspired by Ms. Langer’s study. I’ve turned the spirit of her research into an experiment you can try for yourself at the end of this letter.
Of course, I’m not pretending this is the answer. Genetics, diet, and stress matter. And I’m not a scientist; I’m a student of curiosity. There are experts for the lab work, but I am the expert of my own experience—and I’ve learned that nothing is as valuable as the intel your body gives you if you’re willing to listen.
Some want us to only validate things that have withstood “rigorous examination,” but I’m sorry—if we did that, women going through menopause would be screwed because there’s very little rigorous examination to point to. We have to learn to collaborate with science, not just blindly follow it.
When I was in the thick of menopause, I’d have these dips where it felt like someone had pulled the plug on my life force, leaving me instantly hollowed out. My psyche would instantly jump to: I’m done, there’s no point. Then, two minutes later—I started timing them—a hot flash would hit. My body was talking, and once I started listening, it was valuable, undeniable intel.
We need to trust that internal knowing to help us navigate.
There is a massive downside to hating the aging process: it puts you in a fear-based mindset. And honestly? Nothing great comes from living in fear.
On the other hand, choosing a positive outlook—one rooted in openness, curiosity, and a commitment to having fun with all that comes with being alive—creates endless possibilities for what elderhood can actually look like.
We know when we feel good, and we know when we don’t. Feeling joy, freedom, and ease—those are our new metrics. No more age-declining mindsets. Only age-thriving ones.
And the best way to get there? Have fun. Experiment. Believe.
When my neighbor passed a few years ago, my landlord found a group email she had printed out from 1999. The subject was “An 80s Love Story,” and the body was a fun story made up of song titles and lyrics from the 80s. I turned that story into a video on my YouTube channel so anyone could enjoy the nostalgia and do a micro reverse aging experiment like Ellen did with her group of elders.
The songs are meant to remind us of a time when we felt peak—mentally, emotionally, and physically. It helps us untether our vitality from the year on the calendar and refocus on the only thing that matters: feeling great. Feel free to dance and sing along to the songs.
To the Joybellion. 🤸🏽♀️ ✊🏽
Want this 80s playlist? Here ya go.
P.S. Everything in this post is a tiny taste of what’s coming in my upcoming book, Joybellion: Transforming Midlife Insignificance into Freedom, Power, and Everyday Magic. I can’t wait to bring you along for the ride.
